Dating in the 21st century is a nightmare. (I'm lucky enough to get onboard the 2011 dating ship that was set to sail off for me).
Long gone are the days of genuine dating when you knew courtship was nothing but a genuine act of interest on that person. Now, there's just so much dating politics going on, effects of social media plus dating apps that actually determine whether you're a match or not? To me, it all just sounds super complicated when in fact, it's suppose to be simple.
1) Communication is key (sounds ironic though with all the 'social media connectivity' going on)
Nowadays, it seems that people are forgetting the importance of being true and communicating that truth to the other. When someone feels that their interest is magnifying, they suddenly become scared as if it's some kind of weakness. When in fact, it isn't. Thoughts like, 'Oh no I'm starting to really like this guy but I'm not sure if he does, what should I do?'. Well, be real and honest. Not that you have to say anything but show it with your actions. If the other chickens out then you got your message, but it could be the other way around right? Nothing's wrong with still being genuine now, at least you got that.
2) When he/she messages you, OMG just message back after you read it!
If you're busy at work, that's fine but when you DO have the chance to reply, REPLY! This is how 21st century dating is getting its bad name. What's the point of replying after hours intentionally? To show that you have a life? To show that you're hard to get? To show that you're not clingy? If so, then don't even date. Just be honest enough and tell that person if the reason is that you're not interested anymore. No one wants to be left hanging.
3) The endless pool of options due to dating apps
Swipe left, swipe right. Date today, found a flaw, on to the next. Just because there are dating apps now, doesn't mean that you won't run out of options. In fact, because of this, people seem to think that there are no smart options as it's easy for people to just date a new one after a week. Don't fail to establish real connections with the people around you. I'm not saying there's anything bad with resorting to apps but the downside of it is it's hard to determine what's real and what's not. Don't stop getting out there, network, meet new people, try new experiences = the real journey. Remember, people didn't used to find partners on apps. It's the people they meet and encounter.
4) I established a connection, now what?
People may be able to find their crush through apps or even in person but fail to realize that a 'courtship' has to take place. I find that some men or even women want it instant. If you are interested, don't ghost or leave that person wondering whether you're into them. Go on dates, do something different, make something special but establish that you are 'dating'.
5) 'We're friends who hang out'. What?
That leaves me to my next one. Many get confused when they've been out on several 'hang outs' whether they're actually dating or just hanging out. Please make it clear to one another. No one's a mind reader and don't let any party get that idea and take advantage of that. Nothing's wrong with exclusively dating. If you're not interested, let them know nicely instead.
6) Don't pre-determine him/her through their social media history.
People tend to 'research' everything they can on their facebook, instagram, etc. to make sure that they're on the right track. Instead, just simply keep the suspense and get to know each other in person. Get to know them through your eyes.
Overall, EMBRACE your feelings. Don't be afraid to fall in love.
Trust your instincts. Be true. Be old-fashioned. Don't be afraid to get hurt.
Embracing your fear is just you taking charge. If it doesn't work out, it just doesn't. Don't get all worked up because everything happens for a reason. The least you could do is be true to yourself and to your dating partner. Genuineness shouldn't be taken for granted. If you can't find it, at least have it.